


A Stands For...

by Karlethandra_Merthensa



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ally Sam Winchester, Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Asexual Dean Winchester, Awkward Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Sam Winchester, Bi-romantic Gabriel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury & Sam Winchester Friendship, Charlie Bradbury Lives, Demisexual Charlie Bradbury, Gabriel (Supernatural) Lives, Gray-Asexual Gabriel (Supernatural), Multi, Pansexual Sam Winchester, Pride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 03:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17993855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karlethandra_Merthensa/pseuds/Karlethandra_Merthensa
Summary: “Dude, it doesn’t matter everything I’ve done!” Dean exclaimed, sitting up from the bed and looking to Sam with an exasperated expression, “I was told that that’s what hunters are supposed to do.  Because we can’t have normal life’s with normal relationships it’s part of the job to just take whatever we can get,”“That’s what dad told you,” Sam replied.“Yeah, and I used to hold the man on a fucking pedestal, Sammy!  I thought whatever he said was law!” Dean yelled, standing up from the bed, “So when he told me that it’s common for hunters to go out and just have a fuck ton of one-night stands, because it helps get shit outta your system, and it’s natural for a guy to want to do all of that, I believed him!”





	A Stands For...

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! Recently my SO asked me how I see people, including my partner, since I'm asexual. After helping her understand my thought process a bit easier, I decided to write... This! I realize that the character aren't actually like this, blah blah blah, but it was really fun to do this, and I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Note: The way that I portray Dean as an asexual is how I myself am. It doesn't go across the spectrum for all of us, it is just how I am personally as an ace.

                Dean sighed uncomfortably, looking up at the ceiling, “Sam, I get that you don’t understand, but blatantly telling me I’m _wrong_ is fucking rude, dude,”

                Sam made a disgruntled noise, “I’m… I’m sorry, man, but I just… I don’t understand how that applies to _you_.  I mean, with everything you’ve done—”

                “Dude, it doesn’t matter everything I’ve done!” Dean exclaimed, sitting up from the bed and looking to Sam with an exasperated expression, “I was told that that’s what hunters are _supposed_ to do.  Because we can’t have normal lives with normal relationships it’s part of the job to just take whatever we can get,”

                “That’s what _dad_ told you,” Sam replied.

                “Yeah, and I used to hold the man on a fucking pedestal, Sammy!  I thought whatever he said was law!” Dean yelled, standing up from the bed, “So when he told me that it’s common for hunters to go out and just have a fuck ton of one-night stands, because it helps get shit outta your system, and it’s natural for a guy to _want_ to do all of that, I believed him!”

                “So… You’ve just been hurting yourself this entire time?” Sam asked softly.

                Dean sighed, sitting back down on the edge of the bed this time, “I don’t know…  It’s not like I’m _repulsed_ by any of it…  I just… Don’t really care for it all,”

                “What caused you to like, realize all of this?” Sam asked.

                “We were doing that case, a few weeks ago—”

                “The white woman one?” Sam asked.

                “Yeah, that one.  One of the people I interviewed said that she was ‘asexual’ and that’s why she was put in the mental ward in the first place.  At first, I didn’t understand what the hell that meant, so I looked it up and…  Holy shit, Sammy, I fucking cried,”

                “but… Why?” Sam asked, frowning in confusion.

                “Because for the last twenty plus years I’ve felt fucking _broken_ , Sam.  In High School all of the guys would objectify every damn girl they came across, talking about her in every sexual way possible and I just didn’t understand.  When I brought it up to dad he just said I was a late bloomer and I’d understand soon enough.  Sam, it’s been twenty years and I _still_ don’t understand.  All I’ve done was learned how to fake it,”

                “So with the siren case…  Instead of trying to have sex with you, he befriended you because…  Because you don’t care about sex?”

                “Yeah, I think so.  And for you, he just didn’t really have time to try,”

                Sam made a soft ‘huh’ sound, “So…  Do you just like, not get horny, or…?”

                Dean rolled his eyes, “I’m not a plant, Sam.  I still have all the normal responses to everything body wise, I just… Don’t look at someone and wanna fuck them,”

                Sam nodded gently, “Okay…  Help me understand a bit more.  When you looked at say…  Say, uh…  Oh!  Say that waitress in the diner earlier.  You flirted with her.  If you didn’t look at her sexually, how _were_ you looking at her?”

                “I saw her hair and wondered how soft it was,” Dean replied, “I noticed how her eyes had green around the iris but were mainly blue.  I saw the green at the tips of her hair and had to stop myself from reaching out and touching it because I’m honestly curious to know if it’d have a different texture than the rest of her hair.  I saw her smile and laugh, and I wanted to draw it because I just thought it was pretty,”

                “But you were staring at her chest?” Sam added, wording it as a question.

                Dean shrugged, “I was trying to figure out how to draw the creases,”

                “Dean, you don’t draw.  Why do you keep mentioning drawing?” Sam demanded.

                Dean went quiet for a second before getting up.  He went into his duffle bag and rummaged to the bottom before pulling out… A sketchbook?  He moved over to Sam and silently handed it to him, “About two months after you left for Stanford I bought a sketchbook.  I’ve been trying to draw everyone I see since then.  The first one got lost about nine years ago, just a few months before I went to your apartment,”

                Sam took the sketchbook and opened it to the first page, his eyes widening, “Dean… These are… These are _good_ ,” Sam whispered.  He ran his fingers over the pencil sketch of Bobby, a bright wide smile on the old man’s face.  Off to the side there were notes, _‘work on eye detail’, ‘does Bobby have freckles?’, ‘note to self: check if bobby has any moles or freckles’, ‘edit: Bobby has a slight scar on his forehead, middle left’._ Sam turned the page and smiled widely as he saw the drawing of Ellen and Jo there.  Edits were also next to that one.  Next page was of Sam himself, but multiple rough sketches of him.  One he was smiling, another he looked terrified, another he was playfully grinning.  These were less realistic than the other two pages, and more like a personal style.  Sam looked up from the sketchbook to see Dean awkwardly standing here, “But… How does drawing tie in with this… Asexual stuff?”

                “I just… I thought that everyone who sees everyone else as more like artwork was _normal_.  I’ve mentioned it to a few people off handedly and they all thought I was joking or fucking around.  When I looked it up, it’s... A really common thing for aces to see people ‘aesthetically’ instead of sexually,”

                “Aesthetically as in you see them… Like, like they’re the Mona Lisa or something like that?” Sam asked.

                Dean shrugged, “I dunno, I guess.  I just see people and tend to think of them more like they should be hanging in an art museum instead of looking at them and…. Thinking everything else,” Dean looked to the ground, shuffling his feet lightly.

                “So…  Anything you _did_ have sex with someone, why did you choose to?”

                “I… I just thought I was broken, is all.  Like—Like if I did it enough times, then maybe it’d be like a switch was flipped and I’d be ‘normal’,” Dean muttered, “That didn’t really work well.  Sex is fun—Like really fun, but I just don’t have that apparently overwhelming urge to have it all the time like a lot of other guys apparently do,”

                Sam rolled his eyes, looking back to the sketchbook.  He flipped another page and grinned as he saw a detailed sketch of Cas staring back at him, a soft grin on his face as though someone said something amusing, “So… Put simply you are okay with sex, you just don’t wanna have it?  Like, you don’t get the urge to go out and have sex with someone?”

                “Don’t look at anyone sexually, and honestly sometimes I wonder if people _actually_ do ‘crave sex’.  I’m questioned if that’s a real thing or not.  Sounds fake,” Dean joked.           

                Sam chuckled, “Well… I’m glad you figured it out, Dean.  I wonder if there’s a sexuality term for ‘everyone I get with dies’,” Sam grinned, closing up the sketchbook and handing it back.  Dean rolled his eyes, moving back to his duffle bag and pulling out a mechanical pencil.

                He plopped down on the bed again, flipping the sketchbook open to an empty page and began to draw as he said, “I dunno dude, maybe you should look it up?  There are a lot of terms out there.  Aro, Ace, Demi, Lith, Allo, AroAce, Gray, Pansexual/panromantic… There are others too, those are just the one’s I remember,” Dean shrugged.

                Sam chuckled, before turning to his computer and typing in “how to be an ally to an asexual person” into google.

 

                If few days later, Sam casually takes a random female’s attention away from his brother and instead points her to an unsuspecting man at the end of the bar, that is no one’s business.

                If a few weeks later Sam casually drives Dean to a nearby town where a Pride is happening, and Sam takes out a few things of face paint to paint an ace flag with a panromantic heart in it on Dean’s face, and then asks Dean to paint a pansexual flag on his own, that is no one’s business.

                If two months later Sam leaves a book called _27 Hours_ on Dean’s nightstand in the bunker, that is no one’s business.

                If five months later Cas asks Sam what Dean means when he says he’s asexual, and Sam spends an entire day teaching Cas what all the different sexualities are, including the aroace portion, and Cas spends another three in silence before he quietly tells Sam he thinks he might be ace like dean, that is no one’s business.

                If five months later Sam sees Dean give Cas the _27 Hours_ book, that was no one’s business.

                If seven months later Sam and Charlie catch Dean and Cas quietly go over what they think have sexual attraction would actually be like, and Charlie spends hours explaining it to them, only to slowly realize that she’s only ever really felt the attraction she’s trying to explain to one girl before, and Cas and Dean spent a bit explaining demisexuality, that is no one’s business.

                If nine months later Sam has to pull Gabriel aside to explain why Dean and Cas keep having conversations about the ‘ace community’, and then spending another three days slowly teaching the Angel about the LGBTQIA+ community, only to find a note on his bed later that week reading ‘ _I always thought there was something wrong with me.  It’s nice to not be alone in something for once’_ with little greysexual and biromantic flags at the end, that is no one’s business.

                If ten months later Sam catches Dean and Cas holding hands whilst they watch a documentary on Blue Whales, while Cas asks Dean any and all information on the species that Dean might have in his head, that is no one’s business.

                If a year later Sam drags Cas, Dean and Charlie all out to a Pride near the bunker, pulling out flags, face paint, shirts, buttons and more to decorate them all with, letting Charlie and Cas paint a pansexual flag on one cheek and an A with asexuality colors inside on the other, before painting the appropriate flags on the other’s faces, that is no one’s business.

                If a year later Sam and Charlie acts as body guards for Dean and Cas from those who don’t think asexuality belong at a Pride, that is no one’s business.

                If a year and five months later Cas, Dean, and Charlie catch Gabriel curled up at Sam’s side, the pair fast asleep on the couch, that is no one’s business.

**Author's Note:**

> Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd that was fun! 
> 
> Again, this wasn't meant to offend anyone, I just wanted to take some of my favorite characters and edit them a bit to make a cute lil' heart warming fic. I hope y'all enjoyed!
> 
> Here's a quick lil' summary of everyone's sexualities:
> 
> Charlie: Lesbian Demisexual  
> Dean: Panromantic Sex-neutral Asexual  
> Cas: Sex-neutral Asexual  
> Gabriel: Bi-romantic Greysexual  
> Sam: Pansexual
> 
> The fact that Gabe is curled up at Sam's side can either be seen that he and Sam became a couple, or that they became QPR's. Up to y'all's interpretations!


End file.
